yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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