im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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