It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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