HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
