If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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