we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
