I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize
