At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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