Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
