so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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