He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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