I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
