just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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