god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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