I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
