you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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