Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
