At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize