You can't special order awesome
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
