The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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