Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
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