I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
