So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize
