Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
