THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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