Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
