Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
My dick has a subreddit
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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