it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
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