Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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