You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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