Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I need to align my fucking chakras
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
