So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
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