You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Randomize
