so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
