Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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