He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I am available for nakedness
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
