i just wanna soil my oats bro
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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