yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
