i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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