Already got asked if we're dating
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
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you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
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you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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