Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
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