Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
