It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
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so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
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I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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