Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Randomize
