He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
