and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
