i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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