if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
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