I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
