her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I've blown a few things in my day
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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