A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
