3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Randomize
