"it" just moved
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
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