Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
