ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
