cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize