just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Randomize