I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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