So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
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