so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
