I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
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